Thursday, May 16, 2019

Bad Browns Anal isis: Who wooda thunk it? Captain Obvious Steps in

It's nice to see Captain Obvious writing about how sharp Antonio Callaway looks at the beginning of his second NFL season.  Why would this be a surprise?

The writer mentions Callaway's "ups and downs" during his first, rookie season...as if that wasn't utterly predictable as well---but it's also misleading:

Callaway's "downs" (drops and no doubt bad routes) all occured early in his rookie first season, as he predictably improved game by game.

During the last few games, Callaway was integral.  In the finale, he caught 4/79 vs none other than the Ravens.  He drew a blank the previous week vs the Bengals (might have been injured), but the week earlier vs the Broncos he caught 5/35.  I'm not certain, but don't think he dropped any, and bet he caught over 75% of his targets.

In addition to reminding yourself that Callaway was not just a rookie, but an inexperienced rookie with only a little over one year of starting experience in college, you have to remember who his OC and QB were:

None of Baker Mayfield's receivers (including OBJ) is going to dominate the NFL.  As you know if you read this Blog (or have a brain of your own) one of the scariest things (for defenses) about Baker is that his favorite receiver is always the one who is the most open/deepest period.

This makes what Callaway did late in his first, rookie season with this team pretty impressive.

Jarvis Landry outperformed Callaway in those last 3 games, but not by much.  His stats vs the Broncos and Ravens were remarkably similar to Callaway's in every category, and each caught nine passes in those 2 games.

Err...you GET that the guy I'm comparing Callaway to is Jarvis Landry, right?

Now, a lot of info on Callaway is garbage.  He's closer to 6' tall than to 5'10", and should weigh over 200 lbs now.  He was the third fastest WR in his class.

He had a crappy vertical jump, but the rest of his tests showed great explosion and "suddenness".  

Going just by his game-tapes and combine numbers, he looked like a first round pick, but he was a bone-head (and a crook) and lost a lot of time in college to suspensions (and is lucky not to be in prison).

That's right:  He was Dorsey's kinda guy!

And I'm sorry, folks, but that's a big part of why John Dorsey keeps "finding" players in the later rounds who kick ass.  Along with taking guys with injury histories, inexperienced late bloomers, guys stuck behind superstuds etc., he takes "bad guys".

He took Kareem Hunt TWICE.  Once low in the draft, and again as a street free agent.  Moralize if you want (I respect it), but Mister Spock and Paul DePodesta concur with the logic.

But I digress: Antonio Callaway's upside is...well...OBJ!  He's very similar to Beckham!  Similar stature and physical traits.  He's bookended by Landry and the aforementioned now, so trust me, he's practicing one-handed catches like those two did.

As many have pointed out, these top three WR's are all under 6' tall, but as you know if you read this, Baker Mayfield is the Browns' QB, so having skyscrapers isn't as important here.

But going from dumb to dumber, why are they saying the Browns don't have any tall wide receivers?

I know that Derrick Willies was undrafted, and his NFL sample-size prior to his season-ending injury was microscopic, but he was injured--not KILLED, ok?  He's back! Give him a freaking chance, please!

Ditto Dameion Ratley; another guy who didn't play a lot in college.  Look at this 6'1"!?!  Closer to 6'3" why does Ourlads shrink everybody?

Anyway, in addition to his rawness, Ratley WAS also a beanpole.  But you know what?  HE isn't dead either!

Ratley is remarkably "sudden" for his height, and is about as fast as Callaway and OBJ.

You MM's write second year players off based on their rookie seasons.  It never ceases to astonish me.  Because Ratley WAS a beanpole and hardly played in his first rookie season behind Landry, Callaway, and the two RBs/2-3 TEs, he no longer even exists for many of you...WOW.

Then of course there's Rashard Higgins, who you at least remember exists.

Higgins surprised me, as I had him pegged as a "possession" guy, but he actually made several BIG plays in 2018.

But it's like I'm the only person to notice that!!! Everybody else is like "meh" in re Higgins.  What does he have to do?

Anyway, even though Baker Mayfield doesn't need crutches, he has several tall WR's anyway (to go with all those tight ends).

In fact, John Dorsey might be trading Landry, OBJ, Higgins or whoever down the road apiece as Rodney Ratleyfield, Callaway, and (who knows?) Willies surprise everybody (except me...and DePodesta).

Dorsey will need to trade some players in the next couple seasons in order to keep some of the star draft picks they've piled up recently.

Jabrill Peppers was one.  Duke Johnson, DeValve et al are on-deck, but don't be too shocked if a Damarius Randall or a Greg Robinson is traded.

Get up.  Shake it off.  If the Coaches tell John Dorsey that somebody else on this roster is ready to replace any starter whose contract expires in 2020, John Dorsey WILL trade him (if the price is right).

I'm not predicting anything here, G.  Just sayin business is business, and John Dorsey is as ruthless and efficient as Lord Insideous (Belichick).  

I could get deeper in the weeds and tell you how for Kitchens and Mayfield the OT's aren't as critical anymore and under Wilks a Schobert or Randall aren't critical either and talk basic math and common sense about contracts and massive---

Well if you read this you have graduated kindergarten, so you get it.

I like Beardless Baker lots more than Bearded Baker.  (I will, of course, defer to female and gay opinions).

I just want to point out that there is a middle ground:  You can have a short, well-trimmed beard.

But I digress: Baker Mayfield is "purty", and if he re-grows than black hedgerow, there is something wrong with him.  Clean-shaven check.  Mustache check.  SHORT beard check.  BUSH NOOOOO!!!

Sam Darnold might consider a big bushy beard.  That might help Rosen too (haven't considered it much).  But just in general, the less you shave or trim, the harder you are to look at.

...well unless you're demented, like I think Ryan Fitzpatrick is.  No offense to Ryan...at least he's not piercing everything...

Baker just needs his teeth fixed a little, and then he's a movie star.  If I were his agent, I'd have him doing commercials and stuff already (I mean with his teeth fixed).

I hope the last few paragraphs roped in a few Jerry Springer or Doctor Phil fans...

Freddie Kitchens is correct in pointing out to the unwashed masses that the Browns' DEFENSE is talented too.

Skipping schemes, Coaches, etc., the new (presumptive) starters include Oivier Vernon, Sheldon Richardson, and Morgan Burnett...and (with all due respect to Terrence Mitchell), Greedy Williams too.

Four new starters is a pretty massive turnover, especially when a new Defensive Coordinator has influenced the signings and draft picks.

Check my last several posts: I don't believe four down linemen are as important to Steve Wilks as they were to Gregg Williams.

As I've told you, Wilks' sample size as a DC was one year (with a very talented Panthers defense), and what he did as Head Coach in Arizona is fuzzy.

Most of those who predict what he will do with the 2019 Browns are guessing.  

I am now pretty sure that Steve Wilks will run 3-man fronts a LOT.  If any of you had the patience (or were obsessed or bored enough) to follow along with me, you'll see how the passrushing/blow-up linebackers (including 2 EDGE guys) and ZERO "nose tackle" types well...no seriously well?  

...I thought so.  I work very hard to talk to you.  I'm on my 11th beer.  But I just can't get dumb enough to communicate with you (see that? Four syllables!  It's hopeless!

No no don't bring up "utilize".  It means "use".  The only reason anybody invented this word was to con stupid people into thinking the user of the word is smarter than he is.

Brady Quinn is actually very smart, but he keeps saying "utilize". Jeez sometimes he says "use" and then says "I mean utilize"...

Idiocracy, remember?  

I know I'm supposed to stick with Browns stuff here, but I can't help resisting the idiocracy...I just can't stifle myself...

Nevermind okbye.





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