Saturday, February 23, 2019

Browns Pundit Corrections: Reality Check. Dumbassitude Creep

"Report: Cleveland Browns have no chance of landing Antonio Brown."  Oh, the humanity -sob-.

Blind squirrel Jeff Risdon missed badly on three of four restricted free agents the Browns should look at, but Ravens linebacker Patrick Onwuasor is definitely a hit.

...well that is unless they can steal C J Mosely out from under them instead.

Patrick would play on the weak side here.  He's actually a sort of strong safety/linebacker hybrid with speed and range; a "run-and-hit" guy that you really don't want taking on offensive linemen.

"Restricted" only means that if the Ravens choose to match the offer of another team, they keep Onwuasor.

He's a starter in a Wilkins defense, so it's likely that John Dorsey will take a stab at this guy.  He might offer slightly more than he would otherwise, to make it harder for his Division rival to hold onto him.

Patrick Onwuasor should be "affordable".

My man Jake Burns identified four guys the Browns should pay special attention to at the upcoming combine, and said a few more things to Les Levine on Levine's show.

Jake is predictably on the money, but unpredictably not perfect this time, as he differs slightly with my humble self:

Jake sees "one more" offensive playmaker as at least as important as defensive tackle and linebacker, and mentions "edge" instead of "defensive end".

No knock on Jake here!  Nobody's perfect!

The first guy Jake lists is WR D K Metcalf (nephew of Eric).  I have to respect Jake Burns here, as he doesn't say stuff like this without having checked these guys out on tape.

While Jake is wrong that the offense needs playmakers as much as the defense does, this Metcalf guy is a mutant.

Metcalf is, indeed, a lot like Josh Gordon physically, except bigger.  

I've been harping on how really accurate quarterbacks like Baker Mayfield don't need these skyscrapers (with moon-sized catch radii), but Aaron Rodgers or Drew Brees would tell you that they come in handy.

Micheal Thomas is one of these guys.  He's not as big or as fast as D K Metcalf, but look at what Drew Brees has done with him!

And yes, Brees had a lot to do with Micheal's domination.  Thomas beat double-coverage as much because of Brees's placement and touch as because of his physical ability.

And remember Kamara, Ginn, and those other guys?

Anyway, D K Metcalf needs some "polishing", but would make an immediate and significant impact as of game one.

It's hard for me to agree, even conditionally, with a bunch of idiots that a guy like Metcalf would help, but I have to.

I'm not sure about Monken, but I know that Freddie Kitchens is adaptable.  I also know that Metcalf should have the "quicks" to fit into Monken's 4-vertical attack scheme.

This guy is a legit 6'4" and 230+ lbs:  With an outside guy like that, you can attack soft man or zone coverage:

A freak like this doesn't neccessarily have to break off underneath.  He can charge right into the teeth of those deep guys, because it doesn't matter how many defenders are around him if the pass is accurate.  

Ask Micheal Thomas.  Ask Drew Brees.

So Jake might be right here (if Metcalf is indeed all that).  In combination with Landry, Chubb, Callaway and Duke, this one player could turn the 2019 Browns offense into a "Greatest Show on Turf"-like juggernaut.

Then Jake Burns lists DTs Ed Oliver and Christian Wilkins, and linebacker Devin White, therebye proving himself almost as smart as my humble self.

Oliver and White are both currently expected to be long gone before the Browns draft at 17th overall, but Oliver might slide due to his size and limited role, and White could, simply because he's a linebacker.

Wilkins might still be there.

I always like checking Jake Burns out.  I'm running out of people who can teach me anything, and analysts who COMPREHEND FOOTBALL are in short supply as well.

Randy Gurzi is sliding fast.  He again mocks LB Devin Bush at 17th overall.  As always, Randy makes a solid case: Bush is short, but can cover.  Those numbers don't lie.  

But he's not White, linebacker isn't that much of a priority, and Wilkins (or another top DT) should still be there.

In the second round, Randy nabs maimed DT Jeffery Simmons.  Amen to that!  You can't count on his injury and off the field stuff forcing him down that far, but if he's still there, Dorsey will nab him.

  • But then Randy drafts a wide receiver in the third round...Jacobi Meyers, who shined as a SLOT receiver!  But wait a minute: He's 6'2"! Like Willies, Perriman, Higgins, Louis, Ratley, and Strong...


Randy is extremely wrong here.

Then he drafts an offensive tackle at the bottom of the third round.  

This player is NOT better than Austin Corbett, and Randy himelf stipulates that he probably can't start in 2019.

The 2019 Browns don't need...nevermind I give up.

In the 4th, Randy drafts another (potential sleeper) DT and a tall cornerback, which works for me.  But he calls cornerback a "significant need" in 2019...

Well I respect the hell out of Randy Gurzi, but right now I want to slap him awake, because he sounds clueless.

I'll get back to that later:

Nah skip his edge-rusher and tight end in the 5th and the rest of it I gotta correct Randy right now:

1: Joe Thomas, Shaun O'Hara, and a bunch of other real experts have been contradicting those pundits who proclaim offensive tackle (or offensive line) a "need" for the Browns.

1a: Austin Corbett is NOT a bust.

2: Thanks to Jake Burns, I know Steve Wilks's probable coverage scheme:

Wilks should max out press/man corners like Denzel Ward and Rodney Mitchellfield, but he has historically run off-man and zone coverages (like the Seahawks).

This will be a big help for T J Carey, not to mention Rodney Boddy-Calhounfield.  And Randall, Kindred, and Peppers too...and Schobert.

2a: The Wilks scheme is unusual, as it requires skill-sets not in demand.  Dorsey won't need to target press/man corners, and will find more talented players cheaper.

3: Redundancy alert:  Genard Avery=James Harrison (except quicker and faster).  

The FOUR-THREE Browns defense tertiary, contingent need is a passrushing defensive END.

I say "contingent" because I haven't given up on Ogbah yet, and want to give Chad Thomas a fair chance.

My man Randy Gurzi had a very bad day.  I have to demote him as a source.  I hope he can rally from this, but in one fell swoop he's gone from a top five guy to borderline dumbass.

Randy? Your next article is critical!  Don't make me demote you (further)!

It's hard to stay on top.  Your emotions undermine you, ya no?  You read some Randy Gurzi and love him...then you read this last mock draft, and...well you want to make excuses for him, and rationalize it, but you can't.

Dumbassitude is dumbassitude.  I'm lonely, so I want to think Gurzi is like me, but I can't let my emotions trump my objectivity.

I'll put Gurzi on probation.  That's the best I can do.

I admire Andrew Gribble, because he is so good at talking to idiots without insulting them.  

Yes, I could do that job.

Gribble is actually very knowlegable, and no doubt can't believe a lot of the questions he gets in his "mailbag".

But he can't say "what tf are you talking about!?!" or "are you mentally impaired or what?"

Gribble earns every penny they pay him.  

I could do that.  If paid enough.





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