Buzzkill Bill Polian's "Clear-Eyed" Browns Alalysis

On NFL Radio, a caller from Cleveland asked Buzzkill Bill Polian what he thought the Browns should do this offseason.  I was hoping Bill had done some more homework, or at least was in a better mood.

But when he said "The first thing you have to do is look at the team with clear eyes", I knew what was coming:

1: Myles Garrett is the only "difference-maker" on the roster, except for Peppers, who Bill was told was playing free safety because SS "Derrick Kenard" could line up the defense better.

2: Nassib is a good backup.  Bill never heard of Ogbah.  He mentioned Coley and the other (nameless) DTs with a grunt.

3: The right guard can't play.  They need to replace the likewise nameless right tackle.  Also the nameless middle linebacker with a veteran who knows what he's doing.

4: Josh Gordon is not a difference maker, but might be a good number two.  Corey Who?

5: Sashi Brown and DePodesta are amateur frauds, and "metrics" doesn't work and GET OFF MY LAWN!

I don't care what this guy accomplished.  He's the most biased, subjective, intransigent blockhead I've ever heard from.  How dare he talk about looking at anything through "clear eyes"!

Oh, he gave Peppers, Tretter, and Bitonio their props, at least.  Peppers and Garrett were the only Sashi Brown picks he gave any credit at all.

A big part of this is that it's obvious to anybody with my training that Buzzkill is talking out his ass without having done even superficial research.  He just hates analytics (or whatchacallit) and all the fruits of that tree are just poisonous just cuz!

Buzzkill hammered "veteran leadership" over and over again.  For a lot of these guys, this means minimum four years experience.  It's certainly helpful, but:

1: Bill didn't even know that the middle linebacker he wants replaced is Pro Bowler Joe Schobert, who won his job partly because he could call the defenses...

2: ...or that he is the field general.  "Kenard" (Kindred) only influenced the seconday.

3: Both enter their third seasons in the same system.  They'd have to teach it to this "veteran leader" brought in to replace them.

4: Kindred was absolutely a "difference-maker" until he got injured.  Tackles for losses, fumbles caused, hurries, sacks...to all of which Buzzkill is oblivious.

5: Buzzkill Bill might be the only guy in the NFL who isn't terrified by Josh Gordon, and very nervous about Njoku in year two with a competant quarterback.

6: Bill was obviously not even aware that Zietler (a veteran leader) is the right guard he implied "can't play".

Yeah I left that out.  Buzzkill said "can't play" in reference to most of the roster and every position group.  He ignored tight end entirely.  He called Duke Johnson a "nice complementary player".

He said that if the Browns draft a new quarterback high, then they need to "get rid of" Kizer, possibly for a 4th round pick.  Then he goes on to tell everybody that it's been "proven over and over again" that 4th round picks are worthless.

This clown just spews out crap like that!!!  I got washed under by the waves of bullshit there waitaminnit (grabbing a snorkel here)...

First, why dump Kizer?  Because Sashi Brown drafted him, period.  Gdammit Bill Polian HIMSELF was extolling DeShone Kizer's upside heading into the 2017 draft!  HE said he was raw and would take time to develop!  Now he thinks the Browns should just DUMP him!?

Second, a LOT of stud players (and Hall of Famers) come from the fourth round.  Especially running backs, guards, safeties, cornerbacks, and wide receivers.  Whenever you hear Buzzkill Bill say that something has been "proven", your bullshit meter should trigger an alarm.  He just makes this bullshit up!

The ripples are already spreading out from what Polian plopped in the terlet:

Some idiot mock drafter called the Browns 2017 defense "second string" already!  Critical thinking isn't that hard!  Why do I feel like I'm the last...

Nevermind: I just looked for sanity and found this article by Nick Snook.  Nick gives the 2017 Browns rookie class a B+ (highest in the AFC North).

This assessment of the Browns needs by Marc Sessler didn't tick me off too much.  "Game-changer in secondary, a big-play wide receiver, and a running back" (and naturally a quarterback).

Marc was smart enough (or was on a word-count) not to bash Gordon or Coleman.  Nobody got interceptions check.  It's sad that because of Hue Jackson, Isaiah Crowell will probably go somewhere else and rack up 1500 all-purpose yards cheap, but that's what we're left with, and Sessler is right.

He was also right to blame Hue Jackson for not getting the most out of his offense in 2017.  How refreshing.

Todd Haley sounds disturbingly like Hue Jackson when he was hired here: He says his only offensive philosophy is to make the most of the players he has to work with.

I bought that from Hue Jackson and his legion of backers in the punditry, but Hue turned out to be another Chris Palmer.

However, I do believe Haley.

Unlike Hue, Haley has several pelts on his wall, including Kurt Warner's Rams (the Greatest Show on Turf).  He's succeeded everywhere he's been, with varied talent pools.

This summary of Haley's press conference was instructive.

I hadn't known that his father had been a scout after his playing carreer had ended, or that Todd started out in that area...or even that he was highly respected as a talent evaluator.

Naturally, he's being "PC" in re quarterbacks, but he put his priorities up front:  NFL arm, leadership, toughness.  Not one word about size.

When asked about Mayfield, he instantly referred to his shortest quarterback, Warner.  The guys who can do it just find a way to do it.

I can't put Haley in the Mayfield camp off this (he's pretty slick), but can tell you for sure that he'll be taking him seriously.

This is my own opinion: Drew Brees and Russell Wilson are elite quarterbacks, and each is as short or shorter than Mayfield.  Give me some elbow room here, and Rodgers and Warner are less than two inches taller.  Case Keenum is the same height.

If you draw a hard line on height, you are an idiot.  That's not where you draw any hard lines at all.

If a guy can't make every throw, you can draw that line.  If he can't process quickly, check.  If he gets hurt too much, ok.  If he can't hit the broad side of a barn, draw that line (except for Josh Allen I mean). If he's not a fighter or a leader, ok draw that line.

But if he passes every single one of all those other tests, and you reject him for a BIGGER guy, just because he is bigger, you need a brain transplant.

Screw the Conference and offense he played in.  Screw the odds.  Have the balls to see the exception when he stands in front of you.

Most of these GMs will take Rosen, Darnold, or even (inexplicably) Kizer Allen even though they KNOW Mayfield is better than they are.

I haven't quite worked out why yet, because to me it's just plain irrational (like Buzzkill Bill), but I'll get back to you after I do more research.

Speaking of "frauds", I credit Polian for hiring Marv Levy and Tony Dungy, and for scooping Jim Kelly up from the USFL and drafting Peyton Manning first overall.  I just can't call that genius, or even "different".  I can tell you for sure that Bill is a very articulate master of the obvious, and lucky.

I can safely predict that Buzzkill Bill likes every quarterback who is bigger than Mayfield more than Mayfield, thinks Hue Fisher is the next Bill Belichick (victimized by the disasterous "metrics" experiment engineered by Sashi Brown who thinks baseball is football)...

Ok maybe he was smart once.  He's a Chuck Shumer now.  I'm getting a little sick now.  It's like kicking a puppy.  I feel sorry for the conceited overrated crank.

But he just won't shut up!