Spastic Solutions to Complex Problems: Spazzes are Bad Analysts. No Offense.

I saw “Club 46” with Jim Donovan and Brian Sipe, and was kinda shocked by some of what Sipe said.

Jim asked him what was the secret to those big comebacks, and Sipe said:

This was about the first year that defenses were starting to substitute nickel and dime defenses, and Sipe said that the personnel would tell him what coverages were coming.  He was allowed to call his own plays, so he just exploited predictable mismatches.

In Sipe’s favorite comeback (vs Don Shula’s Miami Dolphins), the QB said he had figured out Shula’s hand-signals, and would wait to call a play until he saw what Shula was doing with his own subsitutions.  He said that once, Shula glanced up and locked eyes with Sipe—-and immediately slammed his clipboard to the ground.  “We knew we had him”, he laughed.

So really, Brian Sipe was like Bernie Kosar.  It was his BRAIN that set him apart.  Baker Mayfield should study these guys.

Baker needs to do more, as well:  He is throwing seemingly every ball on a rope with little or no touch.  None of his vertical guys can ever just run under the ball and let it come to them.  They have to turn and fight a defender for it.

In 2018, Baker Mayfield had superb touch, timing, and accuracy.  What happened?  Is he too angry?  Is he expecting no separation by his receivers?

Well, if you keep sending guys vertical all the time, then there WILL BE NO separation because the cornerbacks are as tall as the receivers and Beckham can’t pull away while playing hurt!

No bucket passes are safe here.  It has to be to one shoulder or the other and offset by 2 or 3 feet.

As I have told you, the vertical routes on 3rd and 5 are MONKEN, not Kitchens.  But if you say “yeah but Freddie is still calling those plays” I say “err...welluhh ...yabutt...well I bet he won’t next year!”

...Yeah ok Freddie hasn’t been great but he’s calling plays AND running the team.  He should probably let Monken run around doing Coachie stuff while he keeps his nose in the clipboard and does what got him here.

Pat Kirwan et al think that Kitchens may have lost his focus. (After all, he’s calling Monken plays on third and five in actual games, right?)

I’m not trying to bash Monken here, but he’s the “air raid” Coach here, ok?  I think Freddie wasn’t confident or secure enough to overrule his more experienced and respected subordinate.  YET.

At least one other writer agrees with me on the best ways to make the Browns’ offense better going forward:

1: KEEP HUNT.  Any OC who would pay more for a number two wide receiver than a Kareem Hunt should be fired.  Nothing new for my readers here: It’s not just an ancient 2-back, but a dynamic, unpredictable, physical, big-play offense.  No need to elaborate see previous posts.

2: Improve the pace AMEN!!!  Mayfield excels in no-huddle offenses.  It lets him lock a given defensive position group on the field and exploit their inability to call complex coverages or blitzes.  He gets to (basically) call his own plays like a back yard quarterback, hammer the mismatches repeatedly, and wear those 11 defenders out.

PS this is why I have hope that Mayfield might have a Kosar or Sipelike brain—because he does so well in no-huddle offenses; he’s obviously reading everything perfectly.

I hope Freddie Kitchens is retained, because I remember him—-as the unrestricted Offensive Coordinator in 2018–running a LOT more “per capita” no-huddle blitze-offenses than the Browns have in 2019.

Where have all the no-huddles/hurry-ups gone?

Reminder: I’m talking about hurry-ups not dictated by time or score.  In MY no-huddle, runs, inside passes, and (yes) trick-plays are all on the table.  Nobody has to get out of bounds or spike the ball to kill the clock.

I expect Freddie Kitchens to see all this stuff for himself, very early in his post-season self-scouting review:

He will see that he was better pre-Monken than post-Monken, Baker was better with Landry and guys named Joe than with OBJ, and in general see that he, Rodney Kitchenfield, indeed fucked up in 2019...by LETTING OTHER PEOPLE TELL HIM WHAT TO DO.

This is why it would be a shame if Freddie Kitchens doesn’t get a second year (and the hell with Mayfield’s backstabbing there is something WRONG with that guy ok?  I will listen to OBJ, Landry, and even Njoku in re Freddie before I listen to Mayfield.)

Someday I’ll get deeper into “instability” and “mood swings” and irrationality and stuff, but long story short: Baker’s refusal to defend Freddie means little to me or any real analyst at this point.

...to think we coulda had Mahomes or Jackson I DID NOT SAY THAT NEVERMIND ok but Mahomes and Jackson aren’t deliberately controversial, don’t say “I gotta be me” and  stuff...

I’ve heard other offseason suggestions not worth mentioning:

One guy thought that replacing all the Coaches, 3 new starting offensive linemen, 2 new starting defensive linemen, a starting linebacker (to replace that bumb Schobert of course) should do the trick.

This is where I butt heads with my own family on holidays:  Some of them kinda ignore the hard cieling of the salary cap, and business 101.

Don’t get me wrong: These are all very smart people, including 2 business owners and stuff, but they can’t toe the line with me on the Browns.

G expects Freddie to get fired and thinks he should be.  He is  citing the attempted Halfback option pass from Hunt (and stuff) like the rest of the world is as proof that Freddie is an idiot.

G has never accepted me as THE expert (I’m older so I guess it’s our shared resentment of authority or something which he doesn’t get yet or something...but G is waving his rope and pitchfork and It’s all on Freddie and no he won’t get better, because I said he would.)

Bub said Freddie needed to just merely beat the Ravens (again) to preserve his job.  The Ravens have stomped every  top contender in their path, and are better now than when Freddie Kitchens’ Browns dominated them in Baltimore.

No, Bub: Not with the Browns sans Garrett, 3 of the DBs they  had in the first game...starting 2 guys who weren’t on the roster in game 1...vs THE AFC Superbowl favorite...all Freddie Kitchens has to do is to beat that team not to get fired...

And good grief listen to the BASHING!  It’s all about how close the Browns were winning!!!

Freddie should not get a second year because he almost won several games?

Pick pick pick the games he DID win don't count?

You people need to go home and sober up.  Drink some coffee.  THINK: This wasn't Freddie's fault.  Lynch Baker Mayfield instead 🖕.  Or John Dorsey.

T H I N K nevermind I give up 🖕okbye.