Finally I found somebody to take my frustrations out on! It's been way too intelligent and sane around here lately.
Gary Horton of Fan Rag saved me with so much dumbassitude I...well I tear up a little...
Where to start? Ok well I'll start from the beginning of his article on the Browns:
Offense: Gary talks about how Hue Jackson likes to be creative, but is (not was) forced to run a vanilla scheme due to lack of overall talent and bad qquarterbacks. He goes on the say that the offensive line has sucked for the last TWO seasons (this includes with Mack and Schwartze).
I'll overlook that-it's just laziness on his part, and the tendancy of dumbasses to generalize a lot.
He does mention Tretter and Zietler, and says that this year's offensive line might be "solid" (I could tell it hurt him to admit that).
But come on man, last season the Browns lost both their starting guards to injury! By the end of the season they were starting their fourth center! How can you call that a lack of talent!?
The clown says none of the Browns quarterbacks can read a defense. That's idiotic. Dumbasses trust their reflexes. When a quarterback holds onto the ball, he must be confused.
Well, Kessler the ROOKIE might had to have been confused sometimes because he was a ROOKIE duh, but he was also reluctant to trust his receivers because he was a ROOKIE.
As I've explained, this is common among ROOKIE quarterbacks, who are paranoid about interceptions. It's very hard for them to throw to a SPOT before they see the receiver turn and look at them.
I don't know about Osweiler. No comment. He executed Kubiak's timing scheme ok, but could still have issues with reads.
Goober says that because of bad quarterbacks, Jackson had to run a vanilla scheme. No, Hue had Terrelle Pryor, Barnidge, and guys named Joe playing wide receiver.
Coleman came from BAYLOR for crying out loud, and Pryor was a quarterback. Here's a tip: Wide receivers matter, dumbass.
Defenses just sat back in coverage? Sure they did, once they were a couple freaking touchdowns ahead and made the offense one-dimensional. That wasn't on the freaking quarterbacks! And I'd hold the ball too (on third and long) if nobody was open!
Browns quarterbacks were sacked more than any other team's too, by the way. Any of that penetrate? It wasn't ALL indecision. It was partly BOTH GUARDS ON IR you idiot!
This clown mentions Zeitler and Tretter, and Njoku (didn't bother spelling his name right), but not DeValve, Bitonio, Thomas, C Coleman, Crowell or Duke. He didn't leave them out on purpose. He really is oblivious to their existance. If I were that oblivious, I could say the offense lacks talent too.
Ignorance is bliss. This guy has achieved Nirvana.
But wait! There's more!!!
Gomer knows his X's and O's (idiot savant?) so he describes how last season's defense screwed up a whole lot. That part is valid. There was miscommunication, bad reads, overpursuit, you name it.
But in introducing Gregg Williams, Nimrod says "this defense may lack talent, but--"
Couldn't Chumley stick with mental errors and screwups? No, of course not. Later, he says "mediocre talent".
I'm looking at the depth chart now, trying to find a mediocre player. Campbell? Meder? Cooper? Is Haden mediocre?
Let's see I'll list some probable starters and rotational guys, and I want you to yell "Stop!" when I hit a mediocre one ok?
Garrett (ok shut up Black Cloud quit being a PIA).
Collins? Shelton? Taylor? (Who said that? PFF ranked him damn near elite last season--do your homework!) Ogbah? Peppers? I still think Des Bryant will get released, but for now have to list him. Kirksey? Calhoun? McCourty/Haden?
Well okay now if you're yelling "stop!" I have to respect your opinion, although I disagree.
Haden and McCourty have been banged up recently (both groins--absolutely critical for man corners), and if they're healthy, I expect them to be really good. But I could be wrong.
Anyway the other guys I could name are all debatable, like the two rookie three tech defensive tackles. I can't make myself call Meder "mediocre". I like Shobert, Nassib, and other guys a lot, but they've yet to prove anything, so we won't go there.
But how many made the "Only a dumbass would call this guy mediocre" list before I got in the weeds? EIGHT.
And as I said in my last blog, Collins, Garrett, and Shelton look really good. I could have included Kirksey and Peppers in that group too, for that matter. Is Gomer talking overall mediocre? Are we grading on a curve here?
Now, he goes on to say that Williams will be "forced" to blitze to put pressure on quarterbacks. Well, he will blitze, but this implies that the 3-tech winner, Garrett, Ogbah, and Shelton will be inadequate. Say it with me now: That is stupid.
And the blitze will leave "marginal" players in coverage. Now I'm looking for "marginal" coverage guys hmm...
Ok well if you say Haden or McCourty I can't fight you. But Kirksey is actually very good in coverage, Calhoun was top notch even as a rookie. Peppers may or may not ever excel in man, but is just made for off-man or zone and running backs (like Duke). Yeah free safety is up for grabs but (laugh at me now but believe me later) watch out for Kai Nacua, and (upon further review) Ed Reynolds could sneak in there too.
Taylor isn't marginal either. In fact he's living up to his draft status, in spades. Even if Joe is 100% back, Jamar might still be better he is.
And of course McCourty should be able to play free safety if his twin bro does (for the Patriots). No need for a flexible groin here.
Sfb's also thinks that if Peppers and Garrett aren't instastuds, this defense is in deep shit, because this defense was almost last in sacks and gave up a ton of passing TDs last season.
On the surface, Einstein is correct. But only on the surface.
Joe Haden played with BOTH sides of his groin impaired. McCourty wasn't here. Calhoun was a rookie. Opposing quarterbacks DID have all day.
Ogbah and Nassib were both rookies. Orchard was injured. The two rookie three techs were drafted specificly because they're one-gap penetrators. Shelton has never had a chance to line up in a gap before. Holmes was a rookie too.
Now, Sherlock correctly says that Gregg will clean up the screwups (or else), but wonders if he can make anything of the inferior talent he's stuck with.
I've got to flag this guy. This article is definitely a top ten dumbest I've ever read. I'd put it in the top three, if not for his X's and O's. In 20-30 years, he might be a decent analyst.
Context. It's not a big word. Look it up.
Nassib, both Colemans, Ogbah, Calhoun, Nassib, Shobert, Kessler et al were rookies.
Both the offensive and defensive systems were new last season.
The Browns play in the AFC North.
Sashi tore the team down to the studs CONTEXT, ok? Why is this so hard for so many people to understand?
Do you see it, my crickets? If you think any of these former rookies will be the same as they were last season, you are mentally impaired. If you can call the general talent on this team "mediocre", you need a brain transplant.
Sigh...Black Cloud is poised to strike, so here's my disclaimer:
The Browns are highly unlikely to make the playoffs in 2017, and have about a .05% chance to take the Division. Their odds of going .500 are only a little better. Cody Kessler is not the best quarterback in history.
They're just not "mediocre". How can you look right at something and not see it? Some people just need that 2×4, I guess.
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