I'm watching the Arizona Cardinals dominate the team in Washington which is trying to find a name that won’t offend anybody.
They don’t look too good.
But I’m alarmed by all the Baker Mayfield commercials!
How can he do all these commercials and still focus on football?
He must have spent at least 18 hours driving around, rehearsing his lines, and doing multiple takes, even if he recorded 2 or 3 commercials at a time!
That’s 18 hours he could have spent studying films and stuff!
And now, he’s even drawn rookie Left Tackle Jedrick Wills into commercial-land with him!
How can this kid possibly do commercials while learning to play Left Tackle in the NFL!?!
All of the forgoing was satire. If you think a player making 30-second commercials distracts him, you are an idiot.
Anyway, the Ravens are also pulverizing the Texans worse than they pulverized the Browns at home in the opener (23-10 early in the 3rd).
In another intra-divisional scrap, the lowly Chargers are up 17-6 over the Chiefs with 6 minutes left in the 3rd quarter.
I’m listening to a Chiefs’ fan who is outraged by each and every play that doesn’t go the Chief’s way (it’s always their fault, since all opposing players are inferior, etc)
Wow Kyler Murray is all that 27-3 (and so is McLauren but I digress).
Early in the 4th, the Texans have closed the gap (23-13...oops 30-13 nevermind)
The Texans suck, right?
Only down by merely 17 points with 10:30 left, they’ve all but “abandoned” the run, too! Why on earth would any Coach ever do that?
Chiefs and Chargers tied 17-17 now, but this Justin Herbert guy aint rolling over (I guess Tyrod Taylor got dinged up).
Wait the...Washington team (wake tf UP gdammit) has stormed back...nevermind it was garbage time. They’re toast.
It’s over for the Texans too (yeah they must suck, right?)
Pat Mahomes seems incapable of “taking control” in overtime (as was his annointment...or something).
If you don’t realize that all the forgoing was satire (making fun of bad pundits), you need to get used to me.
I am pencilling in a “W” vs the team formerly known as the “————“ next week.
Also, in case you missed it, I compared the Browns to the Texans (remember? “They must suck”?)
You people: The Texans are well-established on both sides of the ball, with good coaching and talent.
The Browns have new Offensive and Defensive systems, at least 5 new starters (out of ELEVEN DO YOU UNDERSTAND?)
The Ravens are just that good, ok?
Those rare few of us who think with our brains see a very bright future for this talent-laden young team.
Pearls before swine, and I’m watching a Biden commercial to boot wtf you people are doomed anyway okbye
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