The 2016 Browns Won't Suck. Much. I Don't Think

I read this article on "why your team sucks", and include this link because this guy is really funny.

Unfortunately, he's more concerned with imitating Don Rickles or Vincent Black than he is with accurate analysis.  

I have many, many corrections to make here.

First, RG3's knee appears to be stable, and RG3's straight line speed is mostly back.  The writer, so determined to be negative at each and every opportunity, made him sound like Gabby Hayes.

He's right to point out that Hue massively overpaid for Carson Palmer during his head coaching season at Oakland, and got nothing out of him.  Bruce Ariens then signed him and produced a juggernaut.

All true.  But it's kind of hard to bring a guy in without a training camp, offensive line, or receivers and do much with that.  Hue's big mistake was the roster move itself.

He's right about most of his history.  Who can deny that?  I'm just getting pretty weary of the Manswell stuff.  This guy manages to find new ways to be funny about it, but I think we've scraped the last we can get out of the bottom of that barrel. Let's move on, shall we?

Where the writer really goes off the cliff was in bashing DePodesta, Brown, and everybody else who isn't a coach.

Why, did you know that somebody fired DePodesta once?  It's true!  And they called him "Google Boy" (ok that's funny).  How can he show his face in public?

The best case scenario, this guy writes, is that Haslam fires everybody after five games or something.

Please stop.  I know this guy wants to entertain people (and I must admit does), but deep sixing the front office and analytics before their free agents and draft picks have stepped on the field is a little much.

What really ticked me off were the pages and pages of Browns fans having temper tantrums about the Browns he appended to the end of his article.  Now I know where he did his research!

Hue Jackson might as well not show up.  

How long has Haslam owned the team?  In a lot of tiny little microbrains, he raced to a dead heat with Art Modell in the despicability contest sometime during his second training camp.

Nobody seems to get this: He is Haslam, not Modell or Lerner.  Aside from Sashi, none of these guys was even here last season.

Hue Jackson is the first former head coach hired since Mangini, and this is by far the most experienced (and highly reputed) coaching staff.

It's way, way too early to judge this draft class, but it seems to be pretty good. Outside of Cleveland, the veteran free agents they signed are regarded as solid players.

I respect this writer as a talented entertainer, but the comments he added to the end of his article sounded like a bunch of sqwalling brats (except for the "fuck fucking fuck fuck" part).

I do have a few more corrections to make in general here:

Josh Gordon was one of the better wide receivers in the NFL.  In year two he was unmistakably the best wide receiver in the NFL.

I know that to be considered credible, writers tend to avoid hyperbole which some could interpret as bias or homerism, but in Cleveland it gets kind of silly.

Hell, after he caught for 800 yards with Weedon and Lewis or somebody, they were saying he might become a decent wide receiver eventually.

He averages nearly 120 yards per game after that, and he's "one of the better" oh please stop it just forget he's a Brown and tell the truth you're killing me.

Duke Johnson may or may not be a complete running back.  His yards from scrimmage (and the subset between tackles) yards per carry were mediocre in his rookie season, but he was held down by DeFelipo's unnecessary tinkering and left-handed playcalls the same as Crowell was.

Saying anything like "he will never be a good inside runner" is really extremely premature.  As I've mentioned, if you really go back and look at his tapes, he's not just quick and fast, but wields a lethal stiff-arm and is surprisingly strong and hard to take down.

The new ex-cowboy defensive lineman recently signed is a solid player who can help as part of the rotation, but is unlikely to play LEFT defensive end in Horton's favorite front; He will not replace Des Bryant and probably won't get in Hassan's way either.

YOU STAND CORRECTED