It sounds like you will need an offensive coordinator pretty soon, and I would like to apply for this opening. It seems like the best way to become the head coach of the Cleveland Browns is to be an offensive coordinator for a future Hall of Fame quarterback who runs his own offense.
Since the other guy is probably remaining in New England to get Tom Brady's coffee and stuff, I would like to do that for Peyton.
I'm highly qualified. I've been a cab driver and delivery contractor so I can drive people around and go get stuff. I also make a mean cup of joe, if I do say so myself.
I can promise you lots of yards and points as long as Peyton is healthy. I might even do ok if he is injured but can stand or sit next to me during games.
I'm so glad I can be honest with a guy like you, who knows it wasn't really Mike Shanahan--ya know?
I am very interested in this position until Peyton Manning retires or the Browns hire me as their head coach. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely, Wile E Coyote
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